Jersey Story

Today, I woke up after having terrible nightmares and constantly waking up at night with random urges to punch stuff. So I decided to go take a walk to my favorite park and wanted to shoot some hoops to get my mind of the frustration. I walked to the park this morning ready to shoot some hoops when I saw 2 young children (aged about 7-9) shooting some hoops, one was wearing a Spurs Jersey and the other one was wearing a Celtics jersey. They were playing one on one on my favorite court, so that just pissed me off. And I mean they were only using half the court, but i wanted the full court so i can practice my skills.

So I come dribbling fast right in to their half off court right in between then and did a monster dunk onto the rim. I hung on the rim just staring at them showing them who's boss, but the 2 kids sorta just stopped and stared at me. Still I stayed and hung on the rim as they continued to look at me with their pathetic eyes and my plan to intimidate them off court didn't work so I started doing some pull ups in order to show my strength. The Celtic kid asked me politely if I could move cause i was "interrupting" their game lol, but I jumped down and stood infront of them and was like "This ain't happenin punk, you wanna start something? Starting beef huh chumpt? Bring it?! You brought the beef and im gonna cook it!" The kid was scared as hell! lol.

So I come to a brilliant Idea I tell the kids, if they beat me in one on one I'll leave the court, but if I win I get one of their Jerseys. They agreed. I agreed that since I was alone I get the ball to take out and the moment I got the ball I drove in so fast and did a easy layup. After i made the point they asked for the ball, but I was like "Scorers ball". 1-0 . I got the ball again and they both double teamed me like cowards, but since I was easily much stronger than the two I just rambo charged and shoved them both to the ground and did a tomahawk dunk. They called foul lol! I denied it and said "NO BLOOD NO FOUL" Eventually of course I easily won and the Spurs jersey kid was crying. The Boston kid was sorta disappointed, but i was all "A deal is a deal give me that Jersey" pointing to the Spurs one, cause i rather have a Spurs Jersey as a floor rag.

The kid cried because apparently it was signed by Duncan, and so me being the kind person decided to give them one last chance. If the Boston Kid made a free throw shot, I would leave them alone. But if they don't then I get both Jerseys. What luck cause the Boston's one was signed by Paul Pierce during his rookie year. They smiled and agreed cause they knew they could eaisly make it. The Boston Kid stood at the free throw line and aimed his ball smiling for some corny reason, but that sorta really pissed me off. So as the the Kid shot the ball, I come jumping out of nowhere and swatting the ball so hard with all my strength into the face of the Spurs Jersey Kid. I do a hulk roar and went "RE-RE-RE-REJECTED SON! SIT YO ASS DOWN BOI. " and i get all in his face shaking my head around to taunt them.

I started doing a shimmy dance as they begged me that they didn't have any spare clothes to walk back and the Spurs kid was tearing like crazy. I ignored it and pointed my hand in a give me those Jerseys gestures and they eventually succumbed and took it off their backs. As the Boston Kid handed me his Jersey signed by Pierce, he looked down and quietly said "Please take care of it..." and thats when all the rage of last night played over in my head. So I grab the Jersey and rip it in half hulkamania style and turn it into a badass rambo bandana as I turn and sprint off with my brand new children sized duncan jersey which I'll use as a rag for my fridge.